paddlemesoftly

“OUT, OUT, OUT. Did you hear me?”

Dan shouted loudly to his partner Janet just at the beginning when the ball was returned very high.

Dan is 23 and started to play pickleball last summer. Janet, 67, started pickleball in 2020 amid the pandemic lock-down.

Dan and Janet got pickled (lost at 0-11) in this game.

After the game, Janet’s feelings were probably layered and not especially positive.

The loud early “OUT, OUT, OUT. Did you hear me?” would have landed hardest. She’s been playing since 2020 – long enough to know that high returns are rarely black-and-white, and long enough to be used to quieter, more collaborative communication. Having a 23-year-old who started last summer bark the call at her and then check whether she heard it would have felt dismissive, almost parental. In the moment she might have swallowed it to keep the point going, but afterwards the memory would stick: being publicly directed by someone with far less court time.

The shutout itself would compound that. Getting completely blanked is embarrassing for anyone, but it’s worse when you’re the more experienced player and the partnership clearly never clicked. She would likely replay the game and notice how often she was left guessing – whether to take the high ball, whether Dan was going to poach, whether the next “OUT” call was actually accurate. That sense of never being on the same page is more draining than the score itself.

By the time they walked off the court, the dominant feelings would probably have been a mix of:

• mild humiliation (0-11 is hard to laugh off),
• quiet irritation at the communication style,
• and a low-grade disappointment that the partnership felt one-sided rather than mutual.

She might not have said much right away. People in her age who’ve been around the game awhile often just file it under “not a great match-up” and move on. But the next time someone suggested she partner with Dan, she would almost certainly hesitate.